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A guy falls in love with a bottle of tequila.

Question by Voltez: How do you like this joke? Star if this makes you chuckle! A bit long tho?
One day a guy died and found himself in hell. As he was wallowing in despair, he had his first meeting with a demon. The demon asked, “Why so glum?”

The guy responded, “What do you think? I’m in hell!”

“Hell’s not so bad,” the demon said. “We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinking man?”

“Sure,” the man said, “I love to drink.”

“Well you’re gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays all we do is drink. Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, diet Tab and Fresca. We drink till we throw up and then we drink some more!”

The guy is astounded. “Damn, that sounds great.”

“You a smoker?” the demon asked.

“You better believe it!”

“You’re gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from all over the world and smoke our lungs out. If you get cancer, no biggie. You’re already dead, remember?”

“Wow, the guy said, “that’s awesome!”

The demon continued. “I bet you like to gamble.”

“Why yes, as a matter of fact I do.”

“Wednesdays you can gamble all you want. Craps, blackjack, roulette, poker, slots, whatever. If you go bankrupt, well, you’re dead anyhow. You into drugs?”

The guy said, “Are you kidding? I love drugs! You don’t mean . . .”

“That’s right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack, or smack. Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want, you’re dead, who cares!”

“Wow, the guy said, starting to feel better about his situation, “I never realized Hell was such a cool place!”

The demon said, “You gay?”

“No.”

“Ooooh, you’re gonna hate Fridays.”

Best answer:

Answer by LNG<3DMJ
***** i liked it. very creative. lol

What do you think? Answer to “How do you like this joke? Star if this makes you chuckle! A bit long tho? One day a guy died and found himself in hell. As he was wallowing in despair, he had his first meeting with a demon. The demon asked, “Why so glum?”

The guy responded, “What do you think? I’m in hell!”

“Hell’s not so bad,” the demon said. “We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinking man?”

“Sure,” the man said, “I love to drink.”

“Well you’re gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays all we do is drink. Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, diet Tab and Fresca. We drink till we throw up and then we drink some more!”

The guy is astounded. “Damn, that sounds great.”

“You a smoker?” the demon asked.

“You better believe it!”

“You’re gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from all over the world and smoke our lungs out. If you get cancer, no biggie. You’re already dead, remember?”

“Wow, the guy said, “that’s awesome!”

The demon continued. “I bet you like to gamble.”

“Why yes, as a matter of fact I do.”

“Wednesdays you can gamble all you want. Craps, blackjack, roulette, poker, slots, whatever. If you go bankrupt, well, you’re dead anyhow. You into drugs?”

The guy said, “Are you kidding? I love drugs! You don’t mean . . .”

“That’s right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack, or smack. Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want, you’re dead, who cares!”

“Wow, the guy said, starting to feel better about his situation, “I never realized Hell was such a cool place!”

The demon said, “You gay?”

“No.”

“Ooooh, you’re gonna hate Fridays.”
“!

Article by Eric Uhlir

Cocktails used to be something only ordered by 1960′s housewives and businessmen. Thankfully that is no longer the case today. A nice cocktail can not only have an amazing taste, but also give you a suave, cool look. Of course you should never order a drink that you don’t enjoy to purposefully try to look refined. That will most likely have the opposite effect when others see you aren’t enjoying it.If you’re new to drinking, or you don’t have any knowledge of good liquor then its time to take a trip to the liquor store. There’s no way a bartender will be able to make you a cocktail you’ll really enjoy if you don’t know what liquors you like the best. Head out to a liquor store and pick up a small variety of bourbons, tequila, and scotch depending on what you enjoy the most. You can easily do this with a bunch of friends during a poker night.Always Trust Your TastesIt’s all well and great to know what you like, but if you don’t know how to order your cocktail then you may look a little foolish, or over pay for a cocktail you may not enjoy very much. When it comes to ordering a cocktail with style, always trust your tastes. If you know what you like then order with confidence. You may like your drinks to be more sour than sweet make sure you order it that way. When you order confidently, they’ll have no problem making it sweeter or more sour for you, but that doesn’t mean you should add any ridiculous ingredients. Adding orange soda to a classic cocktail will not be seen as cool. Any quality bartender will be able to add in extra syrups or change up the amount of liquor to get the taste you want.Ask The BartenderYou may know what types of liquors you like, but that doesn’t mean you may know every type of cocktail that contains them. If you’re at a nice bar or lounge you may have the opportunity to speak with the bartender. Most bartenders will be more than happy to offer you some recommendations if you tell them some of the liquors you like. This is an excellent opportunity to try out new cocktails, and it won’t look bad if you get a cocktail you aren’t crazy for. Don’t always settle for the usual drink you always get. A lot of bars will have signature cocktails that are great. There’s nothing wrong with trying out new things that others recommend.Know What You’re GettingDepending on what you get it may come in different glasses, so don’t expect a certain glass with your order. Only martinis will come in a martini glass. On another note know the amount of alcohol in your drinks. You may get more alcohol at certain places so its easy to go past your limit rather quickly. The best way to avoid this is to order water in between each of your drinks. You’ll stay hydrated this way and you’ll keep a good pace on your drinks.Drinks to AvoidIf you’re in a bar or lounge don’t order a drink frozen. The only time this is acceptable is at a pool, or a mexican restaurant. A lot of cocktails do come on the rocks, which is fine though. Make sure you don’t order any drinks with suggestive names. You won’t be taken seriously as a drinker by the bartender or your friends. A good cocktail doesn’t need a suggestive name.

 

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